The Classics of Kids-

An old friend of mine sent me these. She's a retired 2nd grade teacher, been collecting quips and quotes like these for decades, and I'd believe her if she told me some were from her classes!

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part that Mom says about letting just any old yokel vote. –Age 10

If we could just get everyone to close his or her eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until all the looting started.–Age 15

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.–Age 5

"Why don't you get some expensive money?" - 3 year old daughter to Mom, when told she could get a small toy because the ones asked for were too expensive.

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -Age 4

"Daddy doesn't like that man, does he?" - Daughter of John Cleese and Connie Booth, during the filming of the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Note: For those who aren't Monty fans, it's not personal, but I just can't help here!

"This is the biggest CD I've ever seen!" – 8 year old, seeing her first LP.

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond in the winter. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Teacher Bonnie calls these "All about Love we adults really need to know"!

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.-Age 6

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.-Age 6

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.-Age 7

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.-Age 5

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.-Age 5

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes
and has to go out and buy new ones.-Age5

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget, and it's good for them to get reminded.-Age 8

And one of my personal favorites-

While going thru the greeting line after our new pastor's very first sermon to a very full house, the theme about "Listening", he must have used that word a couple of dozen times, it was easy to see he was nervous, and so was someone else. During the sermon one of my darling 6 year old daughters seemed to be getting more and more fussy. After the service, making our way down the aisle, the closer we got to the door and the brand new pastor I realized I was holding the hand of a little girl who was not happy for some reason, and she was getting madder with every step. When we were all next to meet and greet, it was all I could do to hold on to her hand, and looked down to see a scowl on her face that would have curdled a glass of milk!

Then it was our turn and once he and I did our duty, it was her turn. She stuck a hand into each hip and glared up at him and said "Well you weren't listening to your mommy this morning just like my daddy wasn't! Both of you have your zippers all the way down!"

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